Thursday, November 18, 2010


A lot can change in a week. You can be staying at a friends house, terrified and rapidly swinging around with emotions and then the next week you are sitting with your brother in the ICU completely at peace with the world and thankful for each breath he takes. God is so freaking amazing. Really. If you had asked me two weeks ago if I would be near my home state caring for my brother I would have laughed and said that would never happen and I was in no condition for such things. Thinking about where I was at mentally two weeks ago and where I am right now? So different. Two weeks ago I was still at the program house, crying my eyes out about leaving and being terrified about survival. Today, I am on my laptop sitting next to my brother at the hospital completely at peace with the decisions I have made and other have made for me.

My brother has five pulmonary embolisms and two clots in his leg. Every doctor is shocked he is still alive and even more shocked at how rare his condition is. Not only is it amazing, but it's a genetic problem that I more than likely have and his suffering is preventing me from going through the same experience. God's planning and preparing for all of this is blowing my mind and something I cannot articulate very well. But I did want to share that I am still around, still moving forward and very appreciative of all the responses I have gotten in comments and emails. Love to all!!

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